Love today with CrazyLove

 You hear it all the time, actions speak louder than words.   

 T & I work hard to keep things new, fun, active, and most of all we find ourselves communicating a ton about our growth, our dreams, and our actions!   Actively loving someone is hard.  It takes being active and cultivating action in the relationship.  As a newlywed its easy to see how quickly some couples can grow apart!  It seems that, as soon as you land from your honeymoon you are constantly busy and being pulled in a million different directions!  And if you're not careful, the daily grind begins to rule your life, and your marriage.

Before we got married, we were told time and time again, “marriage is hard, marriage is work, marriage takes practicing every day to be better” love takes forgiveness, and acceptance for the things you don't predict, you don't foresee the battles ahead that life throws your way.  

 Until I got married, I had a difficult time wrapping my head around the idea that loving your soulmate was “work”.  Because when you look into your “luvah’s” eyes the 1st time he says "I love you" all you feel and see is complete and utter joy.  On the day you say "yes" to your dream as he kneels to ask you to be his forever, in an instant the life you will have ahead of you flashes before your eyes!  Again, its filled with joy, smiles, happiness.  And as you walk down the aisle, with the man that you love more than anything staring back at you with a tear in his eye, and a look of complete awe on his face, the overwhelming joy can't even begin to be described with words. 

So here's what I've learned after 8 months of being married...

1) I've learned that it takes making a conscious decision to create an incredible love that lasts for the rest of your life. You have to think deeply about what would be required to build that kind of incredible relationship. As uncomfortable as it may sound, you have to sit down and define exactly what it would look like in every area – physically, spiritually, emotionally, sexually and intellectually. 

2) Remembering Extraordinary relationships require extraordinary people. 

3) Its important to have a deep regard for one another. Adore each other. Demonstrate {remember actions vs words} a great admiration and a deep respect for each other. The importance of admiration and respect in a love relationship can’t be overstressed. Because there will always be storms – that is unavoidable. But when you respect and admire each other, you’ll be more likely to stay in the "ring" together and do whatever it takes to make it through. It may be exhausting, but you’ll come out stronger. If you can’t love and admire each other, the smallest storm will rock your boat, and potentially sink it.

4) Remembering, that people naturally take criticism differently if it comes in a context of love and support. Studies have been done that show that great relationships typically have a 5 to 1 compliment to criticism ration. So strive for 100 to 1. Know that if your compliment to criticism ratio is 100 to 1, your lover is going to listen to you. But if your lover is constantly bombarded with criticism and gets very little positive feedback, you’re probably going to get tuned out. Be supportive. Be complimentary whenever possible, and set the context for honesty to be accepted with open arms.

5) I hate when people joke that you don't know the real person you married until 6 months later...  that is seriously AWEFUL.  Its even more aweful that its true in some cases!  Make a commitment to be truthful and honest.  As hard as it is to be honest sometimes always be 100% real with each other and yourselves.

6) One of the most important attributes a love relationship can have is the sense of being on the same side – always on the same team. Sometimes, during tense situations, I find myself being reminded, "he's in my corner, he's on my team".  If your relationship is solid, you can handle anything that comes along – anything life throws at you. You may be strong people separately, but together you can be unshakeable. 

7) Disagreements come, its a healthy part of any relationship.  But talking openly about how you want to handle disagreements can make all the difference. Discuss the experiences and adventures you want to share and the goals you want to accomplish together. In essence, clearly define your marriage, and the vision for your marriage, because that’s the first step in building it. 


This is the purpose of love is to meet each other’s needs at a deep level so growth and expansion can occur for BOTH people.  Love isn’t just two people gazing into each other’s eyes all the time. It’s about two people holding hands, facing life in the same direction. Looking outward together, experiencing life with and through each other. Experiencing life with two brains, two sets of eyes, two bodies, two sets of intuition, two senses of smell, touch and taste. Sharing everything you are with a person you love. Sharing all the energy, enthusiasm and excitement of life together. It is living on a completely different level. 

Love... is one of the greatest things you can experience as a human being.